Best Roulette Gambling Jokes

23 Jan 2013

GAMBLING - a Way of Life

A down and out asked a passing stranger for £5 so he could stay the night at a hostel.

The man asks, "Will you buy booze?"

The beggar says, "No. I promise - I don’t drink."

The man says, "Will you gamble it away?"

The beggar assured the man, "I have never gambled in my life."

"You must come home with me,” demands the man, “I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

Married Gambler

There's the touching story of the young man who was foolish enough to say to his girlfriend, "I bet you wouldn't marry me."

The story goes that she not only called his bet but she raised him five!

Heaven For Gamblers

Bill Gates dies while gambling in an Las Vegas casino and arrives at the port to heaven and hell.

Peter says, “Because you’ve been so successful on Earth you may choose to go to heaven or hell.”

Bill peeks into heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. He takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling.

So Bill says, “I’m a gambling man and I love women so I want to go to hell”

Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into a huge torturous fire.

“Hey,” says Bill, “what going on? The Hell I was shown was full of gambling, women, and sex?

'That,” said the Devil with an evil smirk, “ was just a demo version."

Roulette Lucky Number

A woman decided to treat herself to a casino getaway for her birthday. Upon entering the casino, the commotion at the roulette wheel immediately catches her eye.

She makes her way to the roulette table and says to an attractive young man standing to her left, "Today's my birthday!"

The man then suggests that, it being her birthday and all, she should play her age.

Flashing a smile at the man, she puts her money on number 29. The wheel is spun, and the ball lands on 36. The smile shrinks from the woman's face as she faints in humiliation.

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